With the release of the American remake of State of Play and the popular of themediaisdying Twitter account, the time is right for entertainment to tackle field-wide journalistic crisis; with the disappointing performance of Superman Returns, the time is right for a less costly portrayal of the character.
You don’t need special effects-laden action for tension - tension can be cerebral. And on that note, the film would pretty much just be Clark Kent being an awesome journalist and whatever; a sort of reinvention-slash-left-field exploration of the character where Clark Kent uses his superpowers and occassionally his costume to engage in proper muckraking. And it ends with him winning a Pulitzer, and shows kids that they do not have to just be an action superhero when they grow up, they could be an underpaid, acclaimed journalist.
Plus, as Shattered Glass proved, journalism films can make sucky actors not suck.
I have been informed of something called Twitter from acclaimed documentarian and sleep aid manufacturer Ken Burns, which is an apparently addictive social networking service in which one microblogs at with a message of 140 or less characters. In other words, terse communication; terse communication is what High Concept Carnival is all about. So in that spirit, I present HCC on Twitter.
Rush Hour 4
…But I Wouldn’t Do That: The Meat Loaf Story
Speed Racer 2
Fart Machine: A Musical
Brett Ratner working off a script by Bill Condon.
Groundbreaking franchise once again shatters boundaries with innovation
In an age when the state of gaming seems awash with the monotonous drudgery of soulless, polarizing product targeted at the most specific of audiences, an innovative title will stand apart. “Halo® Dating,” the ambitious next great chapter in the acclaimed “Halo” franchise, is certain to shatter entertainment sales records when it releases later this year.
Created by legendary developer Bungie Studios with the assistance of acclaimed author Nicholas Sparks and exclusive to the Xbox 360™ video game and entertainment system, “Halo Dating” will set a new standard for interactive storytelling and social gaming by engaging consumers worldwide in an epic, galactic tale of romance.
Sparks, best known for sweeping novels such as “The Notebook” and “Message and the Bottle” that have created big-screen romantic blockbusters, handled the writing of the project and guided the team in development. His contributions ensure an experience that will thrill diehard fans and newcomers alike.
“There is absolutely no greater platform in the video-gaming universe than that of the ‘Halo’ series,” said Sparks. “Dealing with very human, universal matter, I’m confident this game has an involving experience that will encompass everyone and bring gamers and non-gamers together.”
Although “Halo Dating” largely eschews the shooting that has marked the series, the game features relentless action and adventure that will bring the audience to see those two terms in a new light.
In the campaign mode, gamers can expect to spend twenty-five hours on an ultimate journey in the shoes of Colonel James Ackerson, as he attempts to sustain his relationship through intense intergalactic conflict and shocking revelations.
But “Halo Dating” truly comes alive when multiple players join in, the game features an entirely different cooperative mode called “Couples Play” that places one player as Ackerson and one as his girlfriend through an unique way of play, and will truly bring couples closer together with an emphasis on positive cooperation rather than nihilistic destruction.
On the Xbox LIVE® service, gamers will find a continuation of that emphasis of positive cooperation with modes like “Lovematch”—an subversion of the famed “deathmatch” mode—where the aim is not to blast each other but resolve differences and contribute in a positive manner.
“With a truly compelling experience that transcends demographics, “Halo Dating” is the must-play title of the fall,” said Don Mattrick, senior vice president of the Interactive Entertainment Business at Microsoft. “Anyone interested in the future of entertainment knows that the Xbox 360 is the place to be.”
my umportant ‘09 gift for you is JONAS SECRETS
A trashy, teen-targeted horror film about a “very interested” fan of a teenage pop idol. All I ask for is a story credit.
Xzibit
Yo dawg, I heard y’all needed a pitch. So I wrote a screenplay for a trilogy about intergalatic baseball.
LOLcats:
I iz greenlighting ur novel. Also, I commizioned a pilot scriptz for U Gut Mail: Da Animated Seriez.
Shawn Kemp
I want Peter Jackson to direct my biopic, because it is going to epic. Like, I mean seven hours long.
Ryan Gosling:
Hey girl,
I heard you had a nephew, so I contributed my voice to the narcoleptic moose in an animated family film David Lynch’s Delgo 2.
Anne Hathaway
Tumblverse, I am instantly turning down any of your future screenplays, and I have blatantly low standards - I have a mostly mediocre filmography and I fucked a criminal for quite awhile.
No, not a remake. This is a film (soon to be fast-tracked by Disney) about a Golden Retreiver that earns a pilot’s license and flies planes.
Air Traffic Controller: How has the flight been so far?
Air Bud: Ruff!
In the climax, Air Bud flies a ninja-ridden Air Force One through turbulence, which is carrying President Michael Bay and Vice President Will Smith (who team up to defeat the ninjas to the theme from Rocky).
After successfully landing the plane, Michael Bay says: “Thanks Air Bud, President of the United States Michael Bay thinks you are an American hero. President of the United States Michael Bay thinks America wants a sequel. Here’s President of the United States Michael Bay’s former agent’s number, maybe you too work something out. Chk! Chk! Or, in canine: Ruff! Ruff!”
Studios, I’m pretty sure a film adaptation is Michel Gondry’s dream project. Or his dream’s dream project.
Korean pop sensation Rain (Ninja Assassin) plays Zach, a Korean immigrant who is a self-professed couchsurfer in Los Feliz that spends his days making vinyl toys based off movies that he loves - Leaving Las Vegas, Sleepless in Seattle, The English Patient, Daylight, More American Graffiti - but no one wants to buy his toys; his inability to move merchandise coupled with licensing fees has put Zach rather deep in the hole.
To get in the black, Zach is turns to stealing a customized hot rod in Pacific Pallisades, and while on a joyride, he gets in with the local gangs who acquire an interest. It turns out that the hot rod is actually owned by Al Pacino (Al Pacino), an award-winning actor from the 1970s whose career was cut short after a string of racist outbursts and has since turned into a reclusive postmodern fantasy author who’s amassed an empire worth billions from the It’s in the Realm of Possibility That You a Wizard But This is Not Necessarily the Case series of books - and their prolific licensing.
Pacino walks out to get his morning newspaper and notices one of those “damn Asians” has returned his beauty (which he could easily afford fifty more of, but this one carries sentimental value) in a terrible shape and is being persued by a group that obviously damaged the vehicle. Pacino pulls Zach out of the car, punches him in the face a dozen times, and yells, “Mao-Yao, if there is anything I loathe more than your foreign face, it is whorescum.” Then Pacino pulls out a shotgun and a handgun, giving the latter to Zach, saying, “We are going to wipe this whorescum off the map!”
A buddy comedy unlike any other filled to the brim with quirk and vivacity and twists and turns. Neil LaBute by way of Charlie Kaufman or Spike Jonze.
This is kind of like the famed meet-ups between various superheroes that have dominated the genre since day one, but in this instance, we have two famous people talking and generally being unilluminating tools that reminds one why so many have a disdain for celebrities in a manner like that from the Sundance Channel series that the comic is based on. But given the medium’s fantastic proclivities, you are going to see team-ups of transcendental discourse that simply are not possibly in our reality like Bukowski/Barkley, Paris/Neitzche, Cussler/Pynchon (Thomas Pynchon is Clive Cussler), and Lacan/Bullwinkle. Perfect addition for the Marvel slate and the sophisticate’s comic library.
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For the Xbox 360, Halo Dating is a collaboration between Microsoft and Nicholas Sparks (author of awesome, lucrative things like The Notebook) set in the famed and acclaimed Halo universe. An epic tale of romance in the twenty-sixth century unlike any other that eschews the series’ shooter roots in favor of friendlier gameplay. You win the single-player game by sustaining your relationship through all this muck and galactic conflict and whatnot. There is a two-player co-op mode where each player is a half of the partnership, and you gotta work together. And, like, instead of shooting each other in multiplayer, you’ll be romantic in a platonic way. Maybe a “lovematch” mode instead of a “deathmatch” mode. Totally going to lure away those holdouts from a Wii purchase.